Twenty one years ago the world lost a really fantastic man and nine year old me lost my dad. Twenty one years ago a cloud of grief blocked out the light of innocence and joy, and left fear, sadness, and loneliness to fill the darkness. These days the shadow is still there, but sunlight manages to pierce through and fill the world with a beautiful light. When I saw this sight a few weeks ago I had to pull over- all I could think was, "This is me. This is what I feel like" there is darkness, but there is so much light bursting through, creating its own joy and light simultaneously and together with the darkness. I am both, and my life is more beautiful for it. Today is one of just a few times I have spent this anniversary alone, and I struggled with how to spend the day if I couldn't be home, but I realized the best way to celebrate is to spend time with my grief and memories, and then spend time finding joy. Forever and always, a balance of both.
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